Hunger of the Pine
by luc1d-dream1ng
Summary: Edward spends his days avoiding Bella, but his nights are spent watching her sleep in her bedroom. A look into Edward's thoughts as he watches her sleep, and realizes the opportunity he could be missing. "Une imménse espérance a traversé la terre, Une imménse espérance a traversé ma peur."


**3rd Person**

He watched her lazy form toss and turn in her bed, muttering her dreams as her body rose and dipped enticingly with her steady breaths.

Her limbs looked long and lean, and he could just spot the color of her veins through her translucent skin. The sight of her, the smell of her, was almost too much. And yet, it was not enough.

Sleeplessly _embracing_

 _Butterflies and needles_

 _Line my seemed-up joint_

It seemed some sort of sick, cruel joke. A punishment for his earlier crimes, no doubt; to fall in... to mate to a human.

This human.

His singer.

His greatest temptation.

His greatest desire.

In more ways than just carnal.

He knew he could never speak to her again. He knew their enticing conversation in which he finally got a glimpse into her thoughts, her being, could not have a repeat performance.

It was simply out of the question.

He would never have her; in any way. Not over his dead body.

 _Encased in case I need it_

 _In my stomach, for my heart_

 _Chain mail_

 _Hunger of the pine_

And yet, as his eyes trailed over her feminine form, a soft smile tickled his lips at the sight of her wild, brown hair; long and unruly, looking a beautiful mess atop her white pillow case. She suddenly rolled over and pushed the quilt off her form, giving a grunt of complaint as she stretched out, revealing her lean legs, covered by no stitch of clothing; she had slept in her underwear.

Swallowing back venom, he quickly raised his gaze to her face; managing to retain some of his manners, yet the image of her body remained imprinted behind his eyelids.

She was ethereal.

He could never have her.

 _Hunger of the pine._

 _Sleeplessly embracing_

 _Yawn years into me_

 _Plenty more tears in the sea_

 _And so you finally use it_

Of all the women to mate with, he had mated with this frail, delicate girl. His heart ached at the thought that if he were to ever even hold her hand, he could risk breaking her by just applying the slightest pressure.

She was his mate; she would forever be his only.

But it was not meant to be.

 _Bedding with me you see at night_

 _Your heart wears knight_ _armor_

 _Hunger of the pine_

His mind raced with the possibilities of the life they could have together; the love they could share!

He had to figure out some way...

He was a selfish creature. He could not bear the thought of not getting to know his beautiful love; the one he had been waiting for a century, long before Carlisle changed him. He had been waiting since he was a human boy, in 1917.

He decided then and there, that he would do everything in his power to get to know her.

He simply had to.

 _Realization grew on me_

 _As quickly as it takes your hand_

 _To warm the cool side of the pillow_

 _I'm there for you, be there for me_

 _I'll hum the song the soldiers sing_

Feeling determined, he stood straighter and approached her bed slowly.

Looking down at her lovely, sleeping form, he concocted a plan.

 _Sleeplessly embracing_

 _You_

 _Sleeplessly embracing_

 _You..._

He gently, so gently, with the force of a hummingbird's wings, pressed his cool hand against her cheek, sighing as she furrowed her brows slightly before sighing in relief.

She burrowed closer to his hand, the warmth of her skin setting him on fire, and suddenly murmured in her sleep,

"Edward."

He could no longer stay away.

 _Une immense espérance a traversée la terre_

 _Une immense espérance a traversée ma peur_

* * *

 **A/N:** The song used in this chapter is **Hunger of the Pine by Alt-J**. Please give it a listen; it made me think of how Edward tried to stay away from Bella during Twilight, but then went and sneaked into her bedroom to watch her sleep. I hope I accurately represented what I think his struggle could have been like.

You know the drill, I don't own Twilight and I don't own those beautiful lyrics. No infringement necessary.

Those last two lines are from French poet Alfret de Musset's _L'espoir en Dieu_

Translation:

 _A great hope has crossed the Earth_

 _A great hope has crossed my fear_


End file.
